'Tis the Season

I've mentioned before that I'm an overthinker and an overplanner. Lately I'm finding that life often combats these tendencies for me.

Life simplifies on my behalf.

It says, "You're incapable of stopping yourself, of slowing things down, of noticing. So I'll slow things for you. I'll make sure you notice."

The past few weeks, through some complete and instantaneous halts, life has offered several opportunities for me to stop and take a closer look around.

I've had an especially long string of bad luck over the last month or so. It's seemed like each day more and more things have gone wrong.

Most recently, I decided to venture out to the front of my house with the electric hedge trimmer. Our bushes needed to be trimmed before winter set in, before I could string our Christmas lights for the season ahead.

On my way outside, I quipped to myself, If I do this, with the luck I'm having, I'll probably cut the extension cord. I proceeded anyway, and throughout the process, I reminded myself over and over again to keep an eye on that cord.

Much to my surprise, my task went well! Even better than usual. And an added bonus, it felt really great to be outside working.

I was so happy, maybe a little too happy, with my success that I decided spur-of-the-moment to trim one last thing I originally had no intention of trimming. And that's when I saw the spark jump from between the teeth on the trimmer.

I had forgotten to be present. I had forgotten to look. The job was terminated for me. Life said it was time to be done.

By this point, my string of bad luck had grown so long that this episode made me laugh out loud, somewhat hysterically. I started feeling like I might need to be admitted to the loony bin! (Am I allowed to say that? I lose track of what's appropriate.)

This wasn't the first time I cut an extension cord, and it probably won't be the last🫣.

This time, the cord I would have used to string those Christmas lights was rendered useless, and another to-do was eliminated on my behalf. Life had simplified again.

Some time has passed since that latest misfortune, and I've since hung my decorations.

That moment with the trimmer, though insignificant on its own, seems to have been the culmination of my string of bad luck. I think I've entered a reprieve. Fingers crossed🤞. Knock on wood (hopefully without breaking anything).

Now here I am. Processing. Noticing my tendency to expect unfortunate outcomes. Recognizing that my focusing on those expectations causes me to overlook all the things that go right. That the internal dialogue telling me those mishaps define me isn't true.

Ultimately this processing is why I show up to this space. To begin to distill life. To share with all of you and find some camaraderie through that distillation. To help us, together, begin to recognize our similar experiences. We aren't alone in this world. Sharing our lives is important to me.

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